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OVERCOMING TEMPTATION:

                PMS (Premarital Sex) is a common temptation which presents itself to every

young  person.  Now-a-days  there  is  no  shortage  for  films,  video  cassettes,  novels,  etc which  are  full  of  filth  (rubbish)  and  obscenities.  Avoid  these  completely.  Avoid  friends who enjoy talking and seeing filth. 

               Today itself decide to say ‘No’ to PMS. Sooner or later you are going to face

the temptation. You may be too hot that moment to think and decide. So prepare your

answer today and be ready with it.

               Don’t develop intimate relationships with the opposite sex and never be alone

with the one. A boy and girl alone are like gunpowder and fire. Don’t go to the closeness

of producing a spark. It may end up in an explosion that will  wreck your life. As far as

possible, avoid physical contact with opposite sex. 

             Keep  yourself  away  from  the  married  people  also.  They  are  not  immune

(resistant)  to  temptations.  Boys  usual y  fall  in  love  with  house  wives  and  girls  with husbands. It is a futile love leading you nowhere. You can never be legally married to a married person. You will be called a ‘keep’. You will have no respect in the society. 

               You  should  understand  that  you  have  the  right  to  refuse  sex.  Do  not  be

threatened  into  a  sexual  relationship.  Innocent  girls  have  been  raped,  some-times

repeatedly  by  their  own  relatives,  friends  and  even  by  family  member’s  i.e.  brothers, father. You may not appreciate my words, but it was true. I myself met many girls whose lives  were  ruined  by  their  relatives  and  family  member’s.  If  anyone  makes  you uncomfortable, tel  your parents or friends, the one where you can get some help openly in a way they can understand. There is nothing wrong; you need not feel shame for it.

                 There are so many good things in this world that you can enjoy. Divert your

attention to them. Spend time with parents. Enjoy good food. Start reading good, clean,

useful,  and  interesting  books.  Go  out  camping  with  healthy  i.e.  good  friends.  The

forbidden (restricted, banned) fruit is not forbidden forever. Wait and you will  have your

reward.

IF YOU CAN’T LIVE WITH THE ONE WHOM YOU LOVE, PLEASE DON’T LOVE AND DON’T

SPOIL THEIR FUTURE.

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BE CAUTIOUS:

                Teenage is such an innocent period that you tend to trust the person who is close, friendly, or who advances you. Especially if your home offers no love, you 

 tend to fall into the open arms of the one who comes your way. Then one day you face the hard choice, “if you love me, come to bed with me.” If you refuse he may leave you. You are

made  to  believe  he  will  marry  you  and  you  his  queen.  But  this  is  an  emotional  tactic.Deflowering innocent virgins is a game for many boys. Remember, virginity once lost is forever  lost.  You  cannot  let  it  back.  That  feeling  and  traces  of  first  sex  haunts  you throughout your life. Think twice and thrice before taking any decision.

                It was not only in case of girls, boys too face the same problem. There are too

many  play  girls  who  will  sell  their  souls  for  a  sex  trip  or  for  satisfying  their  personal needs. Boys should keep away from such sex bombs. 

               There are another category of girls and boys who loves you lot. They/you may

have sexual relation with you/her, but we can’t trustful y tel  you that he/she wil  be with

you  forever.  The  reason  is  her  family;  she  can’t  hurt  her  parents  or  you.  In  such

situations she/he may leave you by scarifying you and her/his whole life for the sake of

her/his parents. If you predict such problems in the initial days it has a clear idea of what

to do. If not, if the day comes where you have to decide one of the both .i.e. parents or

the partner it will  be so painful and unable to digest.

                My  advice  is  when  such  problems  arise  be  cool,  patient  and  take  decisions together  i.e.  Along  with  the  one  with  whom  you  want  to  share  your  life.  Don’t  take decisions by your own; it’s not your life alone. Try to compromise your parents. It can be done if you are in well settled position. So first settle in life. My belief is that if the person is  good  well settled and if  you  feel  your  life  can  be  happy  with him/hers  somehow get married; later your parents will join you, because every parent want their children to be happy. 

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SEX IS NOT A CRIME:

            Sex is God’s idea. God created sex. He created male and female and he made

them attractive to each other, for procreation (reproduction) and pleasure. Since it was

created by God, sex cannot be sin, but it should be with only one person i.e. life partner.

Attraction is  quite common; it doesn’t  mean  that  you  have  to  enter into  sexual  relation with all of them. In such cases sex is a crime.

PREMARITAL SEX AND ITS IMPLICATIONS:

              

    Until  some  years  ago  premarital  sex  was  out  rightly  condemned  as  a  sin  and

anyone who had sex before marriage was looked down upon. Therefore there was a fear

in the hearts of youth. Even if they secretly committed the sex they used to feel guilty.

The first sex will  be in the mind for ever. If you marry the same person it may not show

much difference, but in case if you marry other only god can know your pain. Real y your

life will  become hell.

           Especially  the  girls  should  be  careful  about  the  tremendous  consequences  of

sexual union if the boy changes his mind after the event. She will  disappoint much and

they never come out of that until unless some miracle happens. Her disappointment may

be such that she might never be able to offer herself trustfully again to another man. The

memory  of  the  first  man  will  haunt  her  lifelong.  Often,  she  would  find  it  difficult  to  find

another partner because of the prejudice (injustice) of society i.e. boys against girls who

are supposed to  have  lost  their  virginity. The  consequences  of  an  eventual  pregnancy

are  too  serious  to  contemplate  (think).  Even  if  the  girl  gets  married  with  other  person, something  will   be  lacking  in  the  freshness  in  the  union.  Girl  can  never  be  happy  if  it happens  in  their  life.  So  my  dear  girls  be  careful  before  taking  any  decision  or  doing anything.   

FIRST SEX:

              Sexual union is nature’s bonding agent. Our first sexual involvement leaves an

indelible (impossible to remove) imprint. We are never the same again after sex-we are

part of someone else. This bonding is weakened by change of partner, and therefore the

more we change partners the weaker our capacity for staying together will be.

               So, if we have only one love, sex in marriage carries more weight, has a bigger

binding effect, has more significance, and means more to us, than if it were second or

the third time around. Every woman leaves herself behind with the man she has sexual

intercourse with, so in a very real sense she ‘is giving herself away’. If we do this with

more than one, there will  be nothing left to give to the second one or third.

   It’s not only for girls; even boys will face the same problem, because, girls as

well  as boys have got, single heart which has feelings. My dear boys and girls remember

one thing, you may cheat anyone in this world, but you can’t cheat your heart. Please,

never cheat or play with the life of others; it’s a request from my side because I myself

had the traces of it in my life. I’ am leading a lifeless life with lot of pain inside. I can’t live in this  world, I  can’t  leave  this  world.  I don’t  know  how  is  my  future  going to  be.  So,   I don’t want any other to get into this kind of problems.

SEX OUTSIDE MARRIAGE:

              Deviant (unusual) sexual practice insults God’s beautiful design of our bodies,

and degrades woman. It denies the family ideal and has nothing to do with the children.

           Sex  before  marriage  hurts  because  it  reduces  something  new  to  the  level  of second-hand goods. It remains like a scar in your mind, and hurts throughout their life.

              Sex  with  others  when  one  is  married  to  someone  else  deeply  wounds  the

partner Left  behind,  and  breaks  the  solemn  marriage  vow  of  fidelity  (trustworthiness)  or

faithfulness.

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IMPORTANT ELEMENTS IN A HEALTHY MARRIAGE:

·   Love, caring, trust, commitment and intimacy (understanding).

·   Being as one without getting separated in the hard times (problems).

·   Good communication between each other.

·   Sharing  –involves  sharing  thoughts,  information,  happiness,  problems  and activities.

·   Adaptability-accepting the other as unique (exceptional).

·   Tolerance-acceptance of negative traits (behavior).

·   Integrity; being dependable and trustworthy.

·   Having sense of humor.

·   Respecting the partner’s ideas, thoughts, wishes.

·   Sex-sexual fulfillment.

QUALITIES REQUIRED TO ENSURE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP:

·    If you really want to live with the partner then only you enter into their life, if not

please don’t enter into their life and give a lifelong pain to them.

·   Ability to give and receive love.

·   Readiness to share and build a relationship.

·    Ability  to  work  through  problems  without  leaving  the  partner  i.e.  being  together forever even in the odd times.

·   Adaptability and flexibility.

·   Emotional stability i.e. expressiveness.

·   Ability to communicate everything.

·    Readiness to sacrifice yourself to keep the other happy, that to if he/she deserves

your sacrifice.

·   Love your partner as long as you can and as much as you can.

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EDUCATION:

       Love  is  the  base  for  healthy  relationship.  Marriage  is  a  partnership  of  love;  the preparation  mainly  consists  in  education  to  love.  In  practice  love  involves  a  lot  of  self sacrifice. Genuine (real) love is not a mere romantic feeling, but a profound disposition (character) to give oneself to the beloved and seek his/her good.

                               

        Education to love in marriage also implies acquiring the right attitudes towards sex

and a habit of self-control. Youngsters should be given accurate scientific information on

functioning  of  the  genital organs.  They  must be  provided with  an  understanding of the meaning of human sexuality as an expression of marital love. 

CHOOSING A PARTNER: 

Some general principles about choosing a partner:

·   Both must have common values-personal/social/spiritual. It is very very important.

·   If  partner  is  good  (character)  and  if  you  feel  that  he  is  match  for  you,  don’t consider  any  other  thing  i.e.  religion,  caste,  background  etc  because  they  are

nothing in life.You are the one who had to lead the entire life, neither your parents

nor your friends.

·   You should respect the man/woman you marry.

·   Never get into relation who is different from you.

·    Never  choose  a  person  who  has  the  habits  like  alcoholism,  drugs,  gambling, cheating, etc.

·   Don’t marry someone who is looking for a mother.

·    He/she  should  be  at  least  as  intelligent  as  you  are  or  on  a  level  to  converse easily.

·    Financial  stability  of  the  husband  in  order  to  provide  the  basic  needs  for  the family, independent of wife’s salary if she is working.

·   Never marry the one who loves you by your appearance or for your property.

REASONS FOR UNHAPPY MARRIAGE:

·   Lack of adjustment to the situation i.e. at the time of problems.

·   Conflicts in values like money.

·   Conflicts in family relationships, friendly relations etc.

·   Family planning differences.

·   Alcoholism/wife beating/drugs/gambling/keeping relationship with outsiders.

·   Conflict in religion/caste/spiritual aspects.

·   Conflict In leisure/budgeting

·   Conflict due to misunderstandings’, hurting others feelings etc.